murky future

Feel as if motionless in deciding for the murky future to which I haven’t given a thought.
I can’t differ between what is good and what is not!
Making my mind for a new life, I hesitate and look back to those days of my first love, to which I still belong.
Then, unconsciously, tears roll down my face and wash a little bit of the best memories from this broken heart.
Though a long time has passed, she still dwells in my mind; nothing can change the reality and maybe it is the last time I am able to let my mind ponder about it.
Does a man have to pick up a mate for the rest of his life? Can’t life be the other way?
It is still unclear who this match might be but for sure this time there would be no loss on that for none of the sides.
No can break the promise or get kind of loose feet in the days of hard and joy.