I’m sad

Honesty, self-denials, godliness, and many other words that belong to the normal life are losing their meanings in my book of life.
How is it that human gives them life and values?!
How would it be if those words belong to the man-created theories in order to hide his jealousy?!
If a man is married and also in love with many other ones, will he be called a traitor to the laws of attraction?!
How a soul can be strong to reason the shaking hands by the touch of an attractive stranger who asks for nothing but a velvet touch of unconsciousness!
Is there any saint to second Jesus on earth?
Even he himself might have been doing things that his disciples failed to detect in his life!
Sin is for humanity and there can be no prophet exempted in this case.
The ravishing sexuality appears as if different flowers that emit their own single scents; some thing that one can find no where but on earth and in the body language of sex. Even the same can be said about those men and women who may be destined to live and suffer from the name they have been carrying after a superficially formal ceremony of marriage.
The more life goes on, the more I lose my faith on marriage and even some times there comes a gap in my identity, the way that I used to look at the world, the way that I will become used to and the one who has to forget me by the by in her unwanted life of togetherness.
Metamorphosis is my situation in every day passage of life.
I’m sad... .

murky future

Feel as if motionless in deciding for the murky future to which I haven’t given a thought.
I can’t differ between what is good and what is not!
Making my mind for a new life, I hesitate and look back to those days of my first love, to which I still belong.
Then, unconsciously, tears roll down my face and wash a little bit of the best memories from this broken heart.
Though a long time has passed, she still dwells in my mind; nothing can change the reality and maybe it is the last time I am able to let my mind ponder about it.
Does a man have to pick up a mate for the rest of his life? Can’t life be the other way?
It is still unclear who this match might be but for sure this time there would be no loss on that for none of the sides.
No can break the promise or get kind of loose feet in the days of hard and joy.

to marry

Sounds hard when things become serious in the real world.
Friends are quite different in your eyes and you are not as much about as the same in theirs. I remember how one of my friends looked like when he was in his groom’s suits, the night he left his world of loneliness and started sharing the rest of his life with a lady.
I couldn’t say why he was dubious and uncertain in his face rather could feel the coldness of his temper when took him between my arms to exchange warm words of happiness in his night of marriage. Every body were having a merry night of love and happiness but he was pondering about one of his hardest decisions ever made in 32 years that he had lived until that night; I asked for the reasons and he replied with uncertainty about the future.
Now, they have been married for a year and my turn has come to make it for the future.
Having lost all my calmness, I play it by the ear and wait for the things to happen by themselves, to see what it would be in the days that no one knows his next steps to take.

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nothing Gold Can Stay
by Robert Frost.


Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

nostalgic weather

Fall is getting close to its longest night and I’m sitting over here remembering the past good days of youth that were spent in friendships and love.
Love makes the only experience of man including both sweet and bitter memories.
Fall can be named as the best season for love and affection due to its tenderly nostalgic weather and drops of rain; so is my feelings when I open the windows to let the cool breeze inside; to rid me of all the pains.

alone

no stranger comes to read my thoughts!

a pleasant night in Fall

It's a pleasant night in Fall so Let your kisses reach the stars and your good wishes enrich the beauty of the humanity on earth.
Let there be no poor to grieve for your attention.
Let there be no tear drops wasted on hates and angers.
Let there be no love denied from any lonely hearts.
Let there be love to all.

so fragile

I denno whether I’m wrong or the way that I look at the world!
In nothing I can find the comfort I have been after for years; in friendship I find it so fragile. In love I can never make it! At work I can’t see it!
In God I only wish it!

If there be a case to choose between the seasons I like better, I would vote for the Fall!
In fall, nature shows love and attention to the human soul!

i live for thee

Home They Brought Her Warrior Dead
(Alfred Lord Tennyson)
Home they brought her warrior dead:She nor swooned, nor uttered cry:All her maidens, watching, said,‘She must weep or she will die.’
Then they praised him, soft and low,Called him worthy to be loved,Truest friend and noblest foe;Yet she neither spoke nor moved.
Stole a maiden from her place,Lightly to the warrior stepped,Took the face-cloth from the face;Yet she neither moved nor wept.
Rose a nurse of ninety years,Set his child upon her knee—Like summer tempest came her tears—‘Sweet my child, I live for thee.’

autumn

It is so cool to drive at night when there comes a cool breez to make sure the presence of fall!

silence

<strong>some times silence speaks

Our Ego

It has been quite a while since I have ceased to jug down my trouble-struck mind’s stuffs onto the place people call it the virtual world.
Some times it seems fine to get back to the world of consciousness and unconsciousness so that feel alive and keep waiting for others writing on the box of confession.
Seems we human feel like being flattered by those we label them as friends of ‘mine’. Our ego drives us to where it can find comfort and joy. We make friends for days of need. Aren’t we changing the spiritual matters into earthly yearning needs of the flesh?!

A Dream

A Dream
by Edgar Allan Poe.
In visions of the dark night
I have dreamed of joy departed
But a waking dream of life and light
Hath left me broken-hearted.

Ah! what is not a dream by day
To him whose eyes are cast
On things around him with a ray
Turned back upon the past?

That holy dream - that holy dream,
While all the world were chiding,
Hath cheered me as a lovely beam
A lonely spirit guiding.

What though that light, thro' storm and night,
So trembled from afar
What could there be more purely bright
In Truth's day-star?

heavy heart

Some times there is something to talk about, though there is no body to share part of one’s grieves and burdens at heart with! Heart is a small space made out of flesh but with a wonderful capacity to carry the heavy feelings of a human! Who can stand? Who has caused this? I wish I could cry out all those matters flaming and fuming me!

territories

Some times, territories and distances are kind of a burden to human soul cause when one lives in a region for a long time, he gets used to the environment and all those around him. But when he is destined to move from his new nationality to the old folks he might feel discontent with what he is doomed to experience, even if it be a matter of temporary thing. I can hardly remember the home-coming feeling when I found out that I had to move to the region I was born in. my parents are still living in the north of Iran. It is the best part of the Asia which can rival the Europe in weather and green environment. But in my opinion I am a small fish who belongs to a big river like Tehran, where I grew up, got my degrees, fell in and out of love, and overly more than half of my friends are there. I became a journalist there and still work as a translator with some online and print media there. I hope the days of exile to a branch of a bank see their ends and I get back to my big sea to grow up better than before. I wish technology could break the distances!

to remain honest

“No body is perfect, / what did you expect? / I was dishonest.”
Is it important to remain honest? Who can claim that in his life there had been no time to break the laws of affection? Can any body name such a man or woman who has proved honesty always? I guess not! Even God some times happens to keep away from what he claims as respecting and caring for the poor and helpless. He plays with his creatures and no play has been fair and trick-free. Justice has always been known as something rare to share. Why here comes no pure purity in humanity?
Why we are born from seeds of passion and lust?!
We are used to fool ourselves that lies can be white and harmless?
Human who finds himself desperate and full of guilt wishes for purity, justice, perfect bring in his own mind-made god.